How to Talk to Anyone

I know that talking to people doesn’t come easily to everyone. As someone who lost count of how many times I moved as a child, I had to learn fast. As an adult, I’ve started over several times. Being the new kid well into my 20s, in new cities and new countries, I had to continuously build connections and opportunities for myself by talking to people I didn’t know. This skill became essential in my marketing career and eventually led me to entrepreneurship, interviewing, and hosting.

But not everyone finds this natural—and that’s OK. You don’t need to make talking to strangers your job. But the truth is, it’s a life skill. The good news? You don’t have to be extroverted to do it. You just have to be intentional.

Whether you’re advancing your career, talking to customers, or trying to make friends, a few mindset shifts and conversation skills make all the difference. You can talk to anyone, and here’s how.

Table of Contents:

1. Lead with Openness

2. Be Genuinely Curious

3. Authentic Compliments Go Far

4. It Starts with You
   
   

Step 1: Lead with Openness

If that subtitle already makes you uncomfortable, you’ve just uncovered what’s likely blocking you from connecting easily with others. And look, I get it. As the #newkidforever, I understand why we protect ourselves, hide, or close off. The unknown can feel scary, and being “open” can feel vulnerable or unnatural. The only difference between me and those who struggle with it is practice.

You can learn it, too, with intention (and a little science).

What is Openness and Why Does It Matter?

Openness is your willingness to be receptive to the unfamiliar. It’s driven by curiosity. Some of us are naturally drawn to new experiences and ideas, but openness is also energetic. People can feel it. Those subtle nonverbal cues shape first impressions, which form in milliseconds and tend to stick.

Here are a few ways to project openness:

• Smile: Even a small one signals approachability.

• Posture: Face the person and stay grounded (belly breaths help!). It signals confidence.

• Eye Contact: Shows presence and interest.

💡Tip: If you’re joining a group, be mindful not to block anyone out. Open your body toward the group, it instantly eases tension and makes everyone feel included.

When you lead with openness, others naturally follow. People mirror what they see. If you smile, they’ll usually smile; if you’re genuine, they’ll open up.

Presence Makes Openness Feel Safe

In interviews, I always have my questions prepared, but I try to stay as present as possible while listening. Presence helps others feel heard, but it takes practice. The reason I feel safe staying present is because I trust myself. I’ve gotten comfortable with awkward moments or mistakes. When you can laugh them off and keep going, most people will mirror your ease.

So ask yourself: How much more open would I be to the unknown if I let go of my fear of being awkward or making a mistake?

Step 2: Be Genuinely Curious

If openness feels hard, try leaning into curiosity. Years ago, I dated a dating coach who taught men how to ask interesting questions. Why? Because “What’s up?” doesn’t go anywhere. Genuine curiosity pulls people out of autopilot and shows you’re engaged, making them feel seen.

Why Curiosity Works

Curiosity disarms people. When you ask thoughtful, open-ended questions, it signals interest and builds trust. You’re perceived as more likeable, and you also take the spotlight off yourself, which is helpful if you’re self-conscious about meeting new people.

A genuine curiosity can also lead to great quotes, which I wrote about here.

When you lead with curiosity, your intention shifts from “getting something” to truly connecting.

Avoid the Interrogation Trap

Too many questions in a row can feel like an interview. Instead, listen for connection points, i.e. something relatable or something you can expand on with your own experience or perspective. This creates a natural back-and-forth.

If the conversation doesn’t flow, no worries. Say, “It was nice meeting you!” or, if it’s business related, get down to business.

Step 3: Authentic Compliments Go Far

A sincere compliment is one of the easiest ways to start a conversation. Their response will likely give you something to build off of, whether it’s a question or an opening for you to share something about yourself.

What Makes a Compliment “Authentic”?

An authentic compliment reflects something you genuinely value in another person. That’s it. The key is truth.

People can sense when a compliment isn’t real because your tone or expression won’t match your words. So keep it simple and sincere.

If you’re approaching someone senior, reference their work or something you admire about them. If it’s a stranger, mention something visual, such as a unique item, hairstyle, or energy. These surface details often create the first bridge.

When genuine, compliments make people feel seen and valued. They build trust and warmth, and yes, people tend to like you more.

Compliments as Conversation Starters

You: “Your TED Talk on penguins in the Arctic is my favorite!”
Them: “Thank you! Are you a doctorate candidate here?”
→ Now you can share about yourself and continue the conversation!

Or—

You: “Your essay on the strengths in neurodivergence was incredible.”
Them: “Thank you.”
You: “Have you written anything since then? I’d love to read it.”
→ This is a 2-for-1. You are asking a question and expressing interest!

Does all of this still feel scary? Well, maybe it’s time to bring the spotlight back on you.

Step 4: It Starts With You

To show up better in your interactions, start by noticing what you're afraid of (Is it judgement? Rejection?), accept that it’s a fear but not the truth, and do the damn thing anyway.

The only thing separating confident people from the rest is practice. They have practiced more. There is actually no one that is ‘better’ than you or more worth talking to, so let go of that.

Most people are open to what someone has to say. When you bring the same level of openness, you create possibilities. You might land your dream job, make a key connection, or meet someone who gives you the exact insight you’ve been missing.

This also makes you better at work – whether you’re in sales, leadership, or client relationships. You’ll come across as more human, your conversations will flow, and others will feel seen. Maybe you’ll learn something you wouldn’t otherwise.

And if someone is closed off? Remember: it’s not about you. You have no idea what they’re going through or where they are in their growth.

In the End, We Can’t Escape Awkwardness

As the #newkidforever, talking to people I didn’t previously know created the majority of my opportunities. But it was a process. Like many, I was an awkward kid. I still have my awkward moments. But I have a view now that life is kinda awkward and so I just keep moving. It helps when you know yourself and what you value. Connecting on shared values is the quickest way to connect with anyone. The key is knowing yourself, first.

As the #newkidforever, most of my opportunities came from talking to people I didn’t know. It was awkward sometimes and I am still awkward sometimes. But I’ve realized that life is awkward, and so I just keep moving.

When you work on understanding who you are and what you value, you’ll find it easier to connect with others. Connecting over shared values and experiences is the quickest way to create genuine connection.

Talking to anyone isn’t about being fearless, it’s about being open, curious, and real. Once you embrace that, there’s no limit to the connections (and opportunities) that can follow.

To your infinite possibilities 🥂